With this paragraph, they don’t use many details. They list thing after thing. They should describe each stop they make. This will engage the reader.
After the end of the Trojan War, Odysseus heads home. On the way back, he and his men sack the city of Ismarus. And then they sail to the land of the Lotus-Eaters. After they escape, they encounter the Cyclops, Polyphemus. And then, and then, and then….
This paragraph is similar to the one above. They list a bunch of locations and don’t describe them. If you describe the rooms, it will give the reader a better picture.
The house I grew up in had a garden. It also had a garage. It has two floors. And an attic.
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