Over looking my draft and my peer’s comments, its become really clear on what I need to do. First thing i need to do is to re structure and make my draft flow and transition better.
The second thing i need to do, is to put more of gees work in and use better use of my artifacts. The thing I need to realize is that even though i know all the terms for snowboarding, the reader doesn’t. So by using my artifacts wisely, i should be able to explain these terms in a better sense.
Another thing i need to start doing is trying to focus on a smaller part instead of a broad amount. This will allow me not to get overwhelmed with detail and will allow me to not get off track with my claim. While we are talking about claim, i need to make my claim more clear and develop it through-out the entire paper.
Finally, i need to do the more basic, which entails, looking over grammar, punctuation and sentence structure that i didn’t really worry about when writing the draft.
Overall, i need to take all the information i have, and make it flow correctly and use it properly. If i can do this and listen to what my peers said, i should be in a good position for finishing with a strong thought out paper.
35 min
collreadwrit2e