Author: smichaud1

Hockey-Hockey tape, Hockey stick, Skates/  I think these artifacts will help me with discourse because they are the basics for starting out hockey. I think that once you describe these artifacts it will help someone who doesn’t know much about hockey will be able to get a better understanding.

Working out-Dumbbell, Jumprope,Gym shoes/ I believe that brining in these three artifacts will help the listener get a better understanding because I’m providing basic workout equipment. I can show how the equipment is useful when working out. I can also can use these artifacts to show the listener the material used to make the equipment.

Drawing- Pencil,Eraser,Drawing Paper/ With describing the discourse with drawing,I figured that pencil, erasers and paper would very helpful because they are the first three things you need when beginning to draw. I think the most important part is drawing paper rather than regular paper because it shows you are specifically doing drawing.

 

1 hour

“collreadwrit2a”

 

Whether you are in work or at school, you need to be able to read and write so that you can communicate correctly with people.

Coordination  because it contains “so”. I attend to use more detail in describing why it is important to be able to communicate with people.

 

Good literacy is attractive so it is important to maintain good practice.

Coordination because it contains “so”. I plan to describe why good practice is important.

Nor do they want their fellow classmates laughing at them.

Coordination because it contains “nor”. I am going to use examples of why they don’t want classmates laughing at them.

I think it is never the sponsors fault because if you go to public school, you have the same opportunity to learn literacy.

Subordination because it contains “because”. I am going to use examples of how you can learn on your own.

 

Literacy is one of most important traits because it can help you in getting a good job.

Subordination because it contains “because”. I am going to show why it helps you get a good job.

 

Good literacy will help guide you to success because it makes it easier for you too understand what is going on.

Subordination because it contains “because”. I am going to describe why it makes it easier for you to understand.

 

collreadwrit2a

With this paragraph, they don’t use many details. They list thing after thing. They should describe each stop they make. This will engage the reader.

After the end of the Trojan War, Odysseus heads home. On the way back, he and his men sack the city of Ismarus. And then they sail to the land of the Lotus-Eaters. After they escape, they encounter the Cyclops, Polyphemus. And then, and then, and then….

This paragraph is similar to the one above. They  list a bunch of locations and don’t describe them. If you describe the rooms, it will give the reader a better picture.

The house I grew up in had a garden. It also had a garage. It has two floors. And an attic.

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1. If your project is truly “engaging the conversation” about literacy acquisition, it must be speaking to Gee/Brandt/Alexander in at least one of these three ways: affirm, add, challenge. And you probably want to be doing at least two of these things. What do your peers think you might do here, based on the evidence you’ve provided in the draft? Is there other evidence in the narratives that you’ve left out of the draft so far? Be specific about what your narratives reveal and what you think your might say about literacy acquisition through that data? Base on the feedback from my peers, I have good information and describe it well. They recommend I organize it a little more. I agree that I could sort everything out and make it more clear for the reader to understand. I also think I could use more details in describing the quotes.
2. Source introductions. Do your peers think you have enough “introduction” of G/B/A in the draft? Do you have too much? And what about your naming of the literacy narratives? Alexander offers little stories of her examples; Brandt offers richer descriptions so the reader has enough information to understand her analysis. In a short project, one should not repeat the details from the narratives, but the reader probably needs some description/context. What work do you have in this area? My pears think that I should change my introduction. In my intro, I post many questions that I answer later in the essay. They said I should take all those questions and try and combine them. 
3. Evidence. We must have actual passages from both our scholarly sources and our literacy narratives. The scholarly sources help signal the conversation you’re engaging; the narratives are your support for the ways you’re engaging the conversation. It is entirely reasonable to need to find and consider additional narratives, to need to dig more deeply into those one is using, and even to read parts of Brandt or Alexander that are relevant to one’s project but were not originally assigned to the entire class! What do you need to do in this area? I think I could give more of my opinion when relating  to these quotes. I think I am using too much evidence from the narratives instead of giving my personal thoughts.

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Dear Peer Reviewer,

• My Question or Issue – In my introduction I ask many questions about literacy. Throughout the essay I use many quotes from the scholarly and literacy narratives to help answer my questions. This makes it easier for the reader to understand the discussion. I would like to find a way to take all the quotes and create a response as to why these quotes help answer my questions.
• My Data Shows – In the literacy narratives, I find a lot of good quotes that help me answer my introduction questions. I need help taking these quotes and describing what the author means.
• I’m Adding to the Scholarly Conversation – In my literacy narrative, I am having trouble describing the Gee and Brandt quotes. How should I describe them? Describing these quotes will give the reader a good understanding.
• I’m affirming or challenging a Concept in X – In my paper, I ask many questions in the introduction and use quotes throughout the passage to help answer them. I am trying to organize my paper for the reader. I want to state the question, post a quote and then answer. I would like advise on how I should answer the question while relating it to the quote.

collreadwrit2e

 

In the passage by Gee he states “Language is a misleading term; it too often suggest grammar.” (Gee)  This quote really stood out to me.The reason why it stood out to me is because he describes language as a technique rather than a communication.  He makes a very good point.  A lot of students don’t like literacy because they feel that they are too focused on grammar instead of putting their thoughts on paper. Literacy should be about freedom and being able to put anything that comes to mind on paper.  Another good passage is “The Sponsors of Literacy” by Deborah Brandt. In the passage she talks  about the importance of literacy sponsors. She says “I set out a case for why the concept of sponsorship is so richly suggestive for exploring economies of literacy and their effects.”(Brandt) Throughout the article she talks about how important good sponsors are because they develop your literacy. Whether your sponsor be your parents or teachers, it is important that they can contribute to you success in literacy. The better the literacy the easier it is to become more successful. If you are writing a letter and you have good writing skills, your letter will stand out to whom it may concern. Good literacy is attractive.

Introductory Paragraph

In this paragraph I took the quotes I used from Gee and Brandt and did a better job describing them. I used more details and showed how they relate to my questions about literacy.

After discussing scholarly text, we got into small literacy narratives. I personally prefer the small literacy narratives because it is easier to remember information. One of the literacy narratives I enjoyed was called “Comfort” by Alexandra White. In the narrative she discusses the comfort of students when reading. A quote she used was “Instead I would just flip through the pages; so it looked like I was reading.” (White) I think this quote is very important. Many students could be practicing their reading but instead they are skimming through pages. Why is that? Wouldn’t they want to improve?  She says that a lot of students don’t like reading because they are afraid of what their peers think. I think this is one of the main reasons why students don’t raise their hand in class to read. They don’t want their fellow classmates laughing at them.

Introductory Paragraph

In this paragraph the edits I made were taking the quote I used and relating it too the questions I asked in the beginning. After that, I give my opinion on the quote. By doing this, it allows the reader to understand the importance of the questions I asked.

collreadwrit2e

 

In this article a student keeps moving which means starting at new schools.  She goes from new schools to new schools which meant she had to adjust to the different teaching styles. This is a good article because it shows that sometimes the best way to learn is on your own. Sometimes the teaching methods don’t fit your learning style so you have to find a way to have it make sense.

https://medium.com/rising-cairn/literacy-moment-d99470ded812#.8v59ppxqa

collreadwrit2e

This article discusses how this girl learned to read from her mother. She discusses how they would read book after book. I think this article is important because it shows how much your parents can teach you. I think overall, the best person to learn from is your parents. Your parents have the most respect for you, and they understand how you learn.

https://medium.com/rising-cairn/my-mom-prepared-me-for-the-world-888064f4a0e3#.9xejl7ywu

collreadwrit2e

This blog discusses a students trip to Africa. She discusses who different the classrooms were. She discusses how much she appreciated school when she got back to the US. I thought this was a good narrative because it showed the difference in classrooms and how the teacher is so much more in the United States. I think if everyone experienced the trip that she did, everyone would be more grateful for what we have.

https://medium.com/rising-cairn/education-in-africa-20797bf68701#.188320xnr

collreadwrit2e

This article discusses a student who moved to a new school. She starts freshman year in an english class that she didn’t like. The teacher based the grade off of participation. Not the actually work. I can relate to this because in one my last classes, I attended every class except one and my teacher didn’t give me a good grade. When a teacher sees you attend every class, he or she should have more respect for you. I think its better when the teacher grades based off of attending class and being active. I think its easier to learn when you go to class and show curiosity.

https://medium.com/rising-cairn/the-progress-for-getting-a-better-teacher-for-english-e80436bb7714#.d6k8ukf3d

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