Author: ckapantais

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TDC2723

Write a story for this image:

So twitter isn’t exactly easy to write a story on… I much prefer Medium or WordPress since there’s no character limit.

Anyway, I love writing stories, I still have three going from at least ten years ago that never got published, so I was  thrilled and excited for this one.

I know it was Grecian statue, but I pretended an Amazonian tribe in Peru had stolen the artifact from a wrecked colonial ship near their encampment and was holding it hostage as tribute to their gods/goddesses. Also, as an intimidation tactic since other tribes in the area like Mayans and Incas were highly aggressive.

So the story goes like this:

One windy morning, fog rolls in and covers the statue’s visibility. The tribe attempting to sneak in and take the Incas by surprise didn’t even notice the statue. It ended up half buried nearby the site until the heavy fog was burned away by the noonday sun.

Only then did the statue was rediscovered by returning colonialists foraging around. However it was too late to bring back the statue to the Queen as a gift, so they left it.

Moral of the story: keep priorities straight 😀

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TDC2721

Art Changes the World

 

This poster was a few of the earliest I remember from middle school; it was on my advisor’s wall and I can still picture it clearly. It was during the time I was trying to figure out who was who, since I just moved and there were 3 different elementary schools merged, so everyone already established their friend group. I remember feeling very lost and confused.

Before I’d realized it was easier to be by myself, I got invited to variety of groups but was quickly made clear that I didn’t belong. I wasn’t as self-aware back then that being openly discarded was painful. It was more that I was sort of… annoyed people said things they didn’t mean.

I quickly learned that if you hide qualities people value or believe make them look good, you can spare yourself a lot of wasted time and energy.

Now that I’ve had time to actually reconsider and reflect on my past, I’ve realized that I’m pretty lucky to have had those experiences and yet not actively sought to relieve them by inflicting them on others. I’ve stopped the cycle.

I mean, everyone has burdens but recent research has supported that oppression is additive. The more an individual is exposed to consistent oppression whether social, political, physical, etc. the higher the risk that person is to redirect the fear and pain through other means: domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse, crime, eating disorders, etc.

I’m proud that I can actually own the fact I have never gone out of my way to intentionally inflict pain. Sure, as humans, we never intend to hurt someone else even if that’s the result. But life is painful and sometimes we do end up hurting others. True strength in friendship is knowing what hurts another and doing everything in your power to not repeat it, even if it benefits you.

That poster taught me it doesn’t matter what kind of traits a friend has, as long as he or she shows they don’t let ego take over. That means double standards, passive-aggressive tactics (joking about any insecurities), hypersensitivity, projection, blame-calling, overly critical and judgmental, entitlement, etc. The problem is, it creates a toxic environment.

Not because that kind of treatment is not fair to you, but because “your tribe reflects your vibe.” Sooner or later, whether aware or not, you will take on those traits.

This is, I believe, the hidden meaning of friendship being a “2-way street.”

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TDC2717

What is Love?

The need for connection is embedded in human nature.

In this age, it is difficult to form genuine bonds based on love without first being attracted to a person’s appearance. For a demisexual, it is often much more frustrating to do so, much less explain to others why I won’t date. It is not pride.

It’s a perception thing: I literally do not see a “potential partner” until friendship has developed and I can exist with a separate identity as well as that of being in a relationship. No, it’s not me wanting to prove I’m strong or independent. Although I don’t mind that.

The reason is that when I finally decided to give my all to someone, he used it for his convenience, even though he was unaware of it. Like countless girls before me, I promised myself I would never let cheating happen. Except… it did. No matter what I did. And the worst part was that he blamed me for it.

In the moment, it made sense that there was something fundamentally wrong with me to deserve that sort of treatment. To believe that it didn’t matter how much I gave because it wasn’t worth anything anyways. But after a few months I began to see things differently.

I was so ashamed and humiliated and broken, that for the longest time I didn’t tell anyone what he said or did. That he had lied when he said he loved me. That his overcompensation was because he’d been with another girl the entire time. That he cut me off in the end because “no guy should ever have to deal with you” and “I don’t know what love is.” His words still echo all the time.

Although I pretended to be happy and accepting of the fact that I didn’t deserve to be loved, I realized that the reality is that sometimes you must save yourself from yourself. Suppressing the pain had a serious negative impact because I became numb and withdrawn from everything in the months after.

But I learned an important lesson: love means learning to be with someone while they grow. It doesn’t mean to endure whatever hardships and to sacrifice everything just to stay together, because that’s what gets you ultimately taken advantage of (complacency). It means cultivating a life full of actively choosing to learn and improve, not just because you want benefits of the other person, but because you know it is the right thing to do.

I’m not a major anime fan, but this one, Violet Evergarden, struck me to the core:

 

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TDC2716

What Have You Learned?

Incredible! This woman is 103 yrs old and yet can run that fast! Apparently exercise should not be underestimated in aging… I wonder how long she’s spent training? It would seem that around 30 is when physical performance is at its peak, so that must be difficult to keep not letting that kind of stress injure too badly. Most news that pops up on twitter usually involved politics or entertainment, and I was searching for something that no one else had posted yet. This seemed way more inspiring than “the first water rollercoaster” – had to laugh at that one.

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TDC2711

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These…

(Hahahaha that turns out to be one of my mom’s favorite songs)

Anyway one of my long-standing dreams is to build a mobile home that is attached with a greenhouse so I could travel and be self-sustaining at the same time. It still is a major dream of mine but highly unlikely with the way things are going. Of course, I also didn’t have such bad anxiety at the time, so I guess that’s probably a part of it.

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TDC2709

Lost Civilization

Whenever I have free time (which is few and far between), I plan weeks in advance with my best friendo who lives a few hours away to meet in Portland and explore the islands. We’ve done this a few years now. This is the only place we haven’t actually gotten to go investigate yet. I’m excited to though!

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TDC2701

tdc2701: edit a traffic sign

So I did, digitally of course! I tried to make it look as realistic as possible… I saw a sign that was like staaaaaahp once in real life, but can’t remember where. I got the idea from passing a truck on the highway with its bumper having the same message written on it and image of the wizard behind it, but for now, this is good enough 😀

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DC2699

I feel good!

Authorities warned my father that the trail I run on is dangerous because gangs of men hang around there and do things. Too bad that it was my favorite place to enjoy nature 🙁

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Posted on

TDC2692

What’s on your toast?

In short? Cheddar, that’s it. I usually don’t have toast for breakfast but when I do, I make sure I have some sort of protein on it.

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